In Honor of the New Economy

To the tune of "Zombie" by the Cranberries:

Another shred falls slowly,
Time is slowly taken.
And the guidance caused such silence.
How are we mistaken?

But you see, it's not me, it's not my bankruptcy.
In your head, in your head, they are blighting,
With their banks and their bonds,
And their bonds and their runs.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, do, do, do, do

Another buffer's breakin'
Court is taking over
When the guidance causes silence,
We must be mistaken.

It's the same old line since nineteen-twentynine.
In your head, in your head, they're still sliding,
With their banks and their bonds,
And their bonds and their runs.
In your head, in your head, they are dying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey, oh, ya, ya-aaa...

The Tan Man

Someone elsewhere (h/t Whiskey) mentioned that someone should have done a song about the Tan Man to the tune of America's "Tin Man". Free associate with some nonsense lyrics for a few minutes as we take you back to the bubble days.....

Sometimes late when things aren't real
And people share the restaurant tab between themselves
Some are quick to take the bait
And snatch the booby prize that baits the nasty elves

But laws never did give nothing to the Tan Man
That he didn't, didn't already have
And straws never were the nature of the buyers
On the topic of Bob of Baghdad.

So please believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain bright color
Conjob going down, down, down, down
Houses float like bubbles

Oh, laws never did give nothing to the Tan Man
That he didn't, didn't already know
And straws never were the nature of the buyers
Or the victims of Tan Angelo

So please believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain bright color
Conjob going down, down, down, down
Houses float like bubbles

No, laws never did give nothing to the Tan Man
That he didn't, didn't already take
And straws never were the nature of the buyers
Like the suntan, it always was fake.

So please believe in me....

Dead Banks on Dope

Accompaniment

New Age! Had a race for the Fed line
Blew our cash on every swap we could find
Bad loans on every shack in L.A.
Getting loose, we don't care what the blogs say

We're dead banks on dope
Fan & Fred moved to Hollywood
Hang myself when I get enough rope
Can't clean up, though I know I should
Dead banks on dope
Dead banks on dope

Other banks are loaning in the ghetto
But loans in Pacific Heights don't seem much betto

We're dead banks on dope
Fan & Fred live in Hollywood
Hang myself when I get enough rope
I can't clean up, though I know I should
Dead Banks on dope
Dead banks on dope

I go crazy 'cause my Fed is so fucking rich
Have to print when they get that rich white punk itch
Sounds real classy, living in a chateau
So shakey, all the other banks will never know

We're dead banks on dope
Fan & Fred live in Hollywood
Hang myself when I get enough rope
Can't clean up, though I know I should
Dead banks on dope
Dead banks on dope

Bernanke Breath

In the pumping madness
Of the locomotive breath,
Runs the big-time Bankster,
Headlong to his death.
He feels his finance failing –
Sweat breaking on his brow –
Sir Alan stole the handle and
Bernanke won't stop going –
No way to slow down.

He sees bagholders jumping off
At the stations — one by one.
His credit and his savings –
All gone and no more funds.
He’s pleading as a mortgagor…
On his hands and knees –
Sir Alan stole the handle and
The pain just won't stop growing –
No way to slow down.

He hears the old folks howling –
Grasp at offers as rates fall.
And the all-time winner
Has got him by the balls.
He picks up Goldman's Bible –
Open at page one –
Sir Alan stole the handle and
Bernanke won’t stop going –
No way to slow down.

Darkness be my Zillow

I originally posted this back on 7-26-2006, but lost it. So thanks to Google, here it is again. With apologies to Jessie Colin Young:

Darkness, darkness, be my zillow,
Take my price, and let me sleep.
In the coolness of your data,
In the silence of your deep.
Darkness, darkness, has me yearning,
For a price that cannot be.
Keep me my mind from constant turning,
Toward the deals it cannot see,
Deals it cannot see,
Deals it cannot see.

Darkness, darkness, long and lonesome,
Ease the day that brings the pain.
I have found the cliff of value,
I have known the depth of fear.
Darkness, darkness, be my blanket,
Cover me with endless night,
Take away the pain of knowing,
Fill my bankruptcy with light,
Bankruptcy with light,
Bankruptcy with light.

Darkness, darkness, be my zillow,
Take my deed, and let me sleep.
In the scorching of your desert,
In the silence of your deep.
Darkness, darkness, be my blanket,
Cover me with endless night,
Take away the pain of knowing,
Pack my car, and travel light,
Pack and travel light,
pack and travel light.

Realtor Digby

Now that Commercial Real Estate is going down, this bubbled up from the 1960s:

Ah, look at all the empty storefronts
Ah, look at all the empty storefronts

Realtor Digby, picks up the trash from the lot
where the parking had been
stifles a scream
Peers in a window, seeing the face that he
hides from his clients and friends
Must make amends

All the empty storefronts
Where did the tenants go?
All the empty storefronts
It's quite the heavy blow.

Broker McKenzie, writing the lines of a contract
that no one will sign
Biding his time
Look at him working, posting his signs in a
lineup that no one will see
Where will he be?

All the empty storefronts
Where did the tenants go?
All the empty storefronts
It's quite the heavy blow.

Realtor Digby died on the street and was buried
with heels over head
Business was dead.
Broker McKenzie, wiping the tears from his eyes as
he wails to the skies
No one will buy.

All the empty storefronts
Where did the tenants go?
All the empty storefronts
It's quite the heavy blow.

Bank Failure Friday

Coffin Nailing Accompaniment

Hey little banker what have you done
Hey little banker who's the lonely one
Hey little banker who's your savior man
Hey little banker who's the one you want
Hey little banker shot gun!

It's a nice day to start again
It's a nice day for a bank wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

Hey little banker what have you done
Hey little banker who's the only one
I've been away for so long (so long)
I've been away for so long (so long)
I let you go for so long

It's a nice day to start again (come on)
It's a nice day for a bank wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

(Pick it up)

Take me back home
There is nothin' fair in this world
There is nothin' safe in this world
And there's nothin' sure in this world
And there's nothin' pure in this world
Look for something left in this world
Start again
Come on

It's a nice day for a bank wedding
It's a nice day to start again.
It's a nice day for a bank wedding
It's a nice day to start again

Con Evil 9 - First Impression

Live Version Video

Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air
About an age of HELOCs where no one had a reason to care,
Where late the loans have withered, bankrupt owners shivered, in the cold
Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

Suffering in silence, they've all been waylaid.
They tempt them and they cheat them, in a salesman-like way,
Praying for survival at the end of the day.
There is no compassion for those who strayed.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

There must be someone who can set them free:
To help them borrow from a mortgagee
To help the feckless and the poor FB
To ask what's left of humanity.
Can't you see
Can't you see
Can't you see.

I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there;
To help them borrow
To make then borrow
Blight tommorrow!

Step inside! Hello! We've the most amazing show
You'll enjoy it all we know
Step inside! Step Inside!

We've got thrills and shocks, supersonic falling stocks.
Leave your Hummers at the box
Come Inside! Come Inside!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Left behind the bars, rows of Brokers heads in jars
and a mortgage on a car
Spectacular! Spectacular!

If you follow me there's a speciality
some tears for you to see
Misery, misery,
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Next upon the bill is our House upon the Hill
We've a spokesman who's a shill
What a thrill! What a thrill!
And not content with that, with our hands behind our backs,
We pull Greenspan from a hat,
Get into that! Get into that!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!
There behind the glass is a record unsurpassed
Be careful as you pass.
It won't last! Move along!

Come inside, the show's about to start
Guaranteed to blow your bank apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
You've got to see the show, it's about to blow
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll...

Soon the Realtor Queen with the Subprime Loan Machine
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Next up on broadband will you please extend a hand
to Bernanke's Ragtag Band
Sell some land, take a stand.
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
Handcuffed brokers and a mule
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
were exclusively our own,
All our own. All our own.
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
See the show!

The Market is in Dire Straits

Accompaniment

You get a shiver in the dark
Its been raining in the park but meantime
South of the bridge you stop and you hold everything
The gang is slapping NY-SE double four time
You feel up tight when you hear that death-bell ring

You step inside but you don't see too many faces
Coming in out of the pain to watch the stocks go down
Too much competition too many other places
But not too many horns can make that sound
Way on downsouth; way on downsouth hymie town

You check out heli Ben he pulls all the cords
Mind he's strictly rhythm he doesnt want to make it fly or sing
And an old bazaar is all he can afford
When he gets out under the lights to say his thing

And Hanky doesn't mind if he doesn't save the scene
He's got a daytime job he's doing alright
He can play money wonk just like anything
Saving it up for Friday night
With bazookas; with bazookas of bling

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
thank you goodnight now its time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
we shoot bazookas, we shoot bazookas of bling.


(extra verse if needed for longer version)
And a crowd of young boys they're fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best green jackies and their comfy shoes
They don't give a damn about any market slaying hand
It ain't what they call rock and roll
And the bazookas stole payroll

Sickness in America

accompaniment

Take a look at my downtrend
It's the only one I got
Not much of a stipend
Never seem to get a lot

Take the dollars to the chopper
Fly across America...
Eat the squirrels in California
I'm hoping its going to come true
But there's not a lot I can do

Could we shoot flippers for breakfast
Mummy dear, mummy dear
They got to have em in Texas
Cos everyone's a millionaire

I'm a winner, I'm a sinner
Will you read my epitaph?
I'm a loser, cash pursuer
I'm playing my hoax upon you
While there's nothing better to do

Don't you look at my downtrend
It's the only one I got
Not much of a stipend
Never seem to get a lot

Take the dollars to the chopper
Calling Air America
Kill the shills in California
I'm hoping its going to come true
But there's not a lot I can do.

Bad Loans are Monetized

Didn't Bob Welch write a song about this this when he was with Fleetwood Mac? Wait a sec... Yes he did! From the archives, with music from YouTube:

It's the same kind of story
That seems to come down from long ago...
Nine banks making money together
While safety flies out their window
It must be out on that spread
Which is wide, at least half of a playing field
Because there's no explaining what your imagination
Can make you see and feel

Seems like a scheme
(we) got it monetized...

Seems like a dream
(we) got it monetized...

Now its not a meaningless question
To ask... where the money's gone
I remember a talk about imports from China
...and a strange, strange black swan...
You see the tail was fat-assed
And the risk was all hidden, in CDOs
And if anyone's hand ever made demands
Then for sure it would've blown.

Seems like a scheme
(we) got it monetized...

Seems like a dream
(we) got it monetized...

They say there's a place down in Mexico
Where debt can fly over brokers and shills
And it don't need a payback or some kind of value
And it never will.
Now you know its a meaningless question
To ask if those stories are right
'cause what matters most is the feeling you get...
When you're monetized.

Seems like a scheme
(we) got it monetized...

Seems like a dream
(we) got it monetized...

Stock Trader's Lament

Thinking about the stock market, I realized that Pat Benatar performed another song that's relevant. Written by Mike Chapman and Holly Knight, who were surely traders...

We are dumb, head-fake to heartache we planned
All promises, all demands
Stocks are a battlefield
We were long, no one could tell us; we're wrong
Searching our charts for so long, all the time knowing
Market's a battlefield

You're threatening to blow, you're makin' me pay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
It would help me to know
Is demand in your way, or is this the best thing you've had?
Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why
But I'm trapped by my greed, and I'm chained to this ride

We are dumb, head-fake to heartache we planned
All promises, all demands
Stocks are a battlefield

We were long, no one could tell us; we're wrong
Searchin our charts for so long, all the time knowing
Market's a battlefield

We're losing control
Will you make my hair grey, or torch me till I'm fried?
And before this gets sold, will it still deal the blame?
Theres no way this will fly...
But if I get much poorer, I could lose control
And when I pay the lenders, I'll wish I had... Gold

We are dumb, headache to heartache we planned
All promises, all demands
Market's a battlefield

We were long, no one could tell us; we're wrong
Searching our charts for so long, all of us knowing
Market's a battlefield

We are dumb, headache to heartache we're canned
All promises, all demands
Stocks are a battlefield

We were long, no one could tell us; we're wrong
Searching our charts for so long, all of us knowing
Market's a battlefield

~~~
Music Video to sing along with...

Stockbrokers Say: It's a Buying Opportunity

Didn't Pat Benatar sign a song about this?

I thought so:

Never again, isn't that what you said?
You've been through this before
And you swore this time you'd think with your head
No one, would ever jack you again
And if takin' was gonna get done
You'd decide where and when
Just when you think you got it down
Your charts securely tried and sound
They whispered, Promises To The Marks

Armed and ready, you fought those battles to the heights
But too many opponents made you weary of the fight
Blinded by passion, you foolishly bet just to win
All the warnings went off in your head
Still you had to give in

Just when you think you got it down
Resistance nowhere to be found
They whispered, Promises To The Marks

But promises, you know what they're for
It sounds so convincing, but you heard it before
Cause talk is cheap and you gotta be sure
And so you put up your guard
And you try to be hard
But your chart says try again

You desperately search for a way to conquer the fear
No line of attack has been planned to fight back the tears
Where brave and restless dreams are both won and lost
On the edge is where it seems it's well worth the cost
Just when you think you got it down
Your chart decreases - under ground
They whispered, Promises To The -- Marks

Hi Snark, Low Mark

If you see something that looks like a scar
And it's shooting up out of the ground
And the pols are spinning...
They've named us a czar...

And you just can't escape from the sound
Don't worry it's all right, it'll happen to you
We were bankers once, playing with toys
And the whine that you're hearing is only the sound of
The low mark of well-heeled boys

The percentage you're paying is too high priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new yacht
From the profit he made on your dreams
But today you just read that the man was shot dead
By a gun that didn't make any noise
But it wasn't the bullet that laid him to rest
Was the low mark of well-heeled boys

If you had just a minute to breathe
and they granted you one final wish
Would you ask for something
like another chance?

Or something similar to this?
Don't worry it's all right, It'll happen to you
Just as sure as your sorrows are joys
And the thing that confounds you is only the sound of
The low mark of well-heeled boys

The percentage you're paying is too high priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new yacht
From the profit he made on your dreams
But today you just read that the man was shot dead
By a gun that didn't make any noise
But it wasn't the bullet that laid him to rest,
Was the low mark of well-heeled boys

If I gave you everything that I own
and asked for nothing in return
Would you do the same for me, as I would for you?

Apologies to Gracie

Thanks to NYCityBoy for the inspiration on this one:

Without revealing too much: Hi Gracie! Sorry about this. :-)

First bill makes you larger
And the last bill makes you small,
And the one that lender gave you
Won't do anything at all.
Go ask Leslie
When she's ten feet tall.

And if you go chasing flippers
Well you know you're going to fall,
Tell 'em a hookah smoking mortgagor
Has given you the call.

Call Leslie...
When she was just small.

When the mexmen on the pressboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow.

Go ask Leslie
I think she'll know...

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead,
And the A. G. is talking backwards
And the Slum Queen's "off with her head!"

Remember what the Cart Man said:
"Bring your dead. Bring your dead. Bring your dead"
======

I have never mixed more metaphors in a single post before this one. As far as I know, anyway.

Thick as a Brick

Hope you don't mind if I sit this one out.
My words but a whisper — your debt a work-out.
The news makes you feel but it cant make you think.
Your score’s in the gutter — your price in the drink.

So you ride yourselves over the fields and
You make all your Serinesque deals and
Your loan men don’t know how it feels to be thick as a brick.

And the sand-castle values are all swept away in
The tidal destruction
The moral melee.
The seismic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers
The unsuited prey.
But your hummers are worn at the wheels and
Your credit card’s starting to squeal and
Your loan men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.

Losing My Investment

This one didn't take much to bend it toward a parody:

Midi
Video

Oh, debt is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
Malfeasance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I screwed it up

(chorus)
That's me in a corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my investment
Trying to keep up with Jones
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've risked too much
I haven't saved enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I caught the ring
I think I thought I heard you sigh

Every sliver
Of every waking hour I'm
Counting my possessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I messed it up
Consider this
Consider this
The bust of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I caught the ring
I think I thought I heard you sigh.

But that was just a scheme
That was just a dream

(repeat chorus)

But that was just a scheme
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a scheme
Just a scheme, just a dream
Dream

Foreclosures 'R Us

I read a story in the LATimes this morning about Deputy Strickland, a foreclosure process agant. I have no idea why it made me think of a 1970's song by Rod Stewart, but it did.

Video

Midi

Who’s that knocking on my door
Its gotta be a quarter to four
Is it you again coming round once more
Well you can serve me now if you want
But that doesn’t mean that I’ll be gone
Im talkin to you
Foreclosed, kicking me out
Foreclosed, I can scream and shout
Foreclosed, I was such a fool
I want some money…

Got a most persuasive gun
You’re ruining all my fun
But what you don’t understand
Im a working man
Need another shot of HELOC money
Before the time the bank’s finished with me
Im talking to you
Foreclosed, what is up with that?
Foreclosed, why you dirty rat
Foreclosed, took my Hummer too,
I need some money…

(breakdown, solo)

Imagine how my lifestyle felt
Now you’ve whacked me upside with a smelt
Thirty Five years old
Now this the hand I’m dealt

I’m in hock right up to my neck
Making me a financial wreck
Im talking to you
Foreclosed, got the subprime blues
Foreclosed, send me back to school
Foreclosed, I was such a fool
I want some money…

Foreclosed, made me a mark
Foreclosed, guess I’m not so sharp
Foreclosed, keep your threats to yourself
I need some money…
Foreclosed, you’re kicking me out
Foreclosed, I can scream and shout
Foreclosed, send me back to school
I want some money…

Smells Like HELOC Spirit

Video

Pop up some corn
N’ bring your friends
Its fun to lose
And to pretend
He’s a landlord
So self assured
I know I know
A dirty word

HELOC (x 16)

With sub-prime out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
Calling out for
Gordon Gekko
Go with gusto
Liarrhea
Yea

I’m worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

HELOC (x 16)

With Alt-A out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
Calling out for
Gordon Gekko
Go with gusto
Liarrhea
Yea

And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

HELOC (x 16)

With sub-prime out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
Calling out for
Gordon Gekko
Go with gusto
Liarrhea
Liarrhea
Liarrhea
Liarrhea
…

Desert Developments Done Cheap

accompaniment

On a dark desert highway
Cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of construction
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a billboard sign
My greed grew heavy, and my mind grew dim
I had to stop for a time

There she stood in the doorway
I missed the tolling bell
But I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she lit up the entrance
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Condo California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place (background)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Condo California
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
You can find it here
You can find it here

My mind is Tiffany twisted
I’ve got the Mercedes bends
I’ve got lots of mortgage broker types
That I call friends
How they dance in their adverts
‘Bout the deals you can get
None dance to remember
All dance to forget
So I called up the brokers
Please get me my line
They said
We haven’t had this interest rate since 1969
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Condo California
Such a lovely Place
Such a lovely Place (background)
Such a lovely face
I’m livin’ it up at the Condo California
What a nice surprise
What a nice surprise (background)
I have closed my eyes…

Roaches on the ceiling
Ripple wine on ice
And I said
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
And in the blogger’s chambers
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can’t kill the beast
Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to get a refi back to the place I was before
Relax said the banker
We are programed to recieve
You can cash out any time you like
But you can never leave...

Mortgage Equity Withdrawal was Hot Hot Hot!

accompaniment

I push my LTV…
I push my LTV…

Now look at them flippers that’s the way you do it
You push the limits on the LTV
This ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your digs for free
Now this ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a knock against your sterling FICO
Maybe get them sayin’ that you’re scum

We gotta buy italianate granite
Custom kitchen stupidities
We gotta own chrome refrigerators
We gotta have those plasma TV’s

See the little flipper with the Hummer and the ski boat
Yeah buddy, he owns all that stuff
That little flipper got his own McMansion
That little flipper he’s a millionaire :-)

We gotta buy italianate granite
Custom kitchen stupidities
We gotta own chrome refrigerators
We gotta have those plasma TV’s

I shoulda learned to bid past market
I shoulda learned to beat them comps
Look at that mama, she got it stickin’ in the camera
Man we could have some
And she’s up there, what’s that? Usin’ sex to sell?
Playin’ on the suckers like a wild banshee
This ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothin’ get your digs for free

We gotta buy italianate granite
Custom kitchen stupidities
We gotta own chrome refrigerators
We gotta have those plasma TV’s

Look a’ here
This ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
You push the limits on your LTV
This ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your digs for free
Money for nothin’ and digs for free

Money for nothin’ and your digs for free
~
Look at that, look at that
~
Money for nothin’ and your digs for free
I push my, I push my, I push my LTV
Money for nothin’ and digss for free

(Fade)
I push my, I push my, I push my LTV

---

Open Houses Not Going Well

accompaniment - or -
video

No buyers on the road
No buyers on the beach
I feel it in the air
The price is out of reach
Open house,
Empty streets
The Realtor sits alone
Im drivin' by your house
Though I'm sure - no one's home

But I can see you-
Your sale signs shinin' in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your
Sign spinners on, baby
And I can tell you my need for you Will not be strong -
after the prices of summer have gone

I never will forget those heights
I wonder if it was a dream
Remember how the price was crazy?
Remember how it made me scream?
Now you don't understand what's happened
To your sales,
But babe, I'm gonna get you back
I'll be watchin' as the market fails...

I can see you-
Your sale signs shinin' in the sun
I see you talkin' real slow and you're smilin at everyone
I can tell you my need for you will not be strong
After the prices of summer have gone

Out on the road today I saw a Realtor sittin' on a stucco shack
A little voice inside my head said,
"Dont look back. you should never look back."
You thought you knew what homes cost,
What did you know?
Those days are gone forever
You should just let them go but-

I can see you-
Your sale signs shinin in the sun
You got that price pulled down and
that push-up bra on baby
And I can tell you my need for you's completely gone
Now that the prices of summer have gone

I can see you-
Your crab grass dying in the sun
You got that hair slicked back and
That smarmy smile on, baby
I can tell you my need for you's completely gone
Now that the prices of summer have gone

Ode to Shady Loan Borkers

video

I make my living off the buyer's blues
Just loan them money, they'll pay their dues
People don't know what they lose, they love dirty money

Well, I could've been a Realtor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, and I try not to sneer
Let me whisper in your ear, take my dirty money

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around

We got the bubbleheaded blog-bears, with all their jive
They can tell you about the price crash with a gleam in their eyes
It's interesting when buyers lie, take my dirty money

Can we film the prosecution? Is the well dry yet?
You know the boys in the backroom got a running bet
Tell the sucker not to sweat, take my dirty money

You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone, take my dirty money

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
Love to cut you down to size, we love dirty money

We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king, take my dirty money

A Lowball Offer...

video

I don't wanna understand this horror
there's a weight on your price I won't commit
everybody ends up here in shambles
but the name tags are the last thing you wanted
as the world explodes you fall out of it
and you can't let go because this
will not go away.....
there's a house priced out in space

and I can see the thief that lives inside of your head
but I can get some schadenfreude as you're slowly bled
and you don't know what's happening and you can't pretend
but I can play ball, play ball

Someone help us understand who ordered
this disgusting arrangement - time and the end
I don't wanna hear who walked on water
cause the hallways are empty, clocks tick
as the world implodes we fall in to it
and we cant go home because this
will not go away.....
there's a house priced out in space

and I can see that thief that lives inside your head
but I can get some schadenfreude as you're slowly bled
and you don't know what's happening and I can't pretend
it's a long, long get away, it's a long, long get away
make it home again, make it home again
it's a long, long get away, it's a long, long get away

I can see that thief that lives inside your head
and I can get some schadenfreude as you're slowly bled
you don't know what's happening and I can't pretend
but I can play ball, play ball I'm here
but I can play ball, play ball I'm here
it's a long, long get away

One for the Subprime Lenders

video

Rampage - had a race for the house line
Spent my cash on every toy I could find
Spent time in every zip in L.A.
Sharking loans, I don't care what the feds say

We're loan pimps on coke
Pumping deals from the boiler room
Lock you in when you hand me the rope
Must re up, though I know you've no need
Loan pimps on coke
Loan pimps on coke

Other dudes are buying in the ghetto
But you won't, cuz I'm selling you a jumbo

We're loan pimps on coke
Fan & Fred moved to Anaheim
Toss the keys when you run out of rope
You can't clean up, though you know you should
Loan pimps on coke
Loan pimps on coke

I go crazy 'cause my take's so filthy rich
Have to score when I get that sweet loan shark itch
Sounds real classy, living in a chateau
So levered, all the other marks will never know

We're loan pimps on coke
Fan & Fred buy from Countrywide
Lock you in when you hand me the rope
Can't come clean, though I know I should
Loan pimps on coke
Loan pimps on coke

It's All Good in California...

accompaniment

All the eaves are brown
(All the eaves are brown)
And the walls are beige
(And the walls are beige)
I've been for a walk
(I've been for a walk)
Down the flipper's way
(Down the flipper's way)

I am broke and poor now
(broke and poor)
Since I bought in L.A.
(Still avoiding B.K.)
California steaming
(California steaming)
On down the flipper's way

Saw an Open House
I passed along the way
Well, I asked about the sales
(Asked about the sales)
And how's the HOA?
(How's the HOA)
You know the Builder, he was was cold
(Builder he was cold)
He knows I'm forced to stay
(Knows I'm forced to stay)
California screaming
(California screaming)
On down the flipper's way

All the eaves are brown
(the eaves are brown)
And the walls are beige
(And the walls are beige)
Ive been for a walk
(I've been for a walk)
Down the flipper's way
(Down the flipper's way)

If I had a buyer
(had a buyer)
I could leave today
(I could leave today)
California screaming
(California screaming)
On down the flipper's way
I got a California reaming
On down the flipper's way
California reaming
On down the flipper's way

Ode to a FSBO

accompaniment

Sitting on a FSBO –
Watches passing cars with time to blow.
Sweat running down his nose –
Graspy fingers — dirty windows.
Grass dying in the cold sun –
Watching as the worried buyers run.
Feeling like a dead duck –
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.

~~~

Sun streaking cold –
a seller waiting lonely.
Biding time
the only way he knows.

Price dropping fast,
as he bends to pick some crab-grass –
he goes down to the curb
and scans for cars.

Feeling alone –
the Builder’s up the road
With freebies a la mode and
a cup of tea.

Aqualung my friend –
don’t you start away uneasy
you poor old sot, you see,
it’s only me.

~~~

Do you still remember
the Springtime’s selling freeze –
when the gloom that fell
on to the comps
was screaming agony.

And you clutch your bloated last comps
with sobbing flipper sounds,
and the sale signs bloom like
madness in the spring.